Another Sign of the Apocalypse

Oh. My. God.

This is a true sign of the Apocalypse.

Not the actual Flake itself, but the fact that in wartime, with the economy and the Constitution crumbling around our ears, someone would be willing to pay TWO HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS for a single Frosted Flake.

The mind boggles.

Best. Comment. Ever.

Susan of Texas said, (at Sadly!No blog)
March 17, 2008 at 15:34

"Conservatives really are perpetual teenagers, raiding the refrigerator, using up all the gas in the car, taking money from your wallet, and constantly whining about how overworked and mistreated they are."

The irony of course, is that this is what's always been said of Democrats. Perhaps, sans the whining... But the state of the World today is frightening, not only for the actual realities, but because it's History Repeating.

Think Jimmy Carter.

Worst President ever, right? Somehow, he's been left with that reputation. Nice guy, but too bad he was such a LOSER.

Fact is, he had a bad situation, and because he did the "hard work" required to actually remedy it, he is reviled. Because he didn't lie to the American public to fudge numbers, as Bush has been doing for years, he's remembered for economic failures. He understood the energy crisis and did something about it. All the good he did during his term was undone by Reagan. And now we've come full circle. With Reagan's bastard child in the White House, we've moved from economic surplus to record deficits, and are now falling headlong into recession. We're more dependent on foreign oil than ever, which has gone from $27 a barrel when he took office to $110 this past week.

You know, I'm not an economist. In fact, I don't know much about economics at all. It seems to me however, that when all of your government's policies encourage American dollars to go overseas, out of our economy, without anything to show for it, it can't be good for America. Some examples?

Major corporations moving their offices overseas, to places where they won't have to pay American taxes or American wages. They pay pennies to manufacture, then sell in the US for really high markups. Which are paid to CEO's, who put the money into offshore accounts, again, untaxed by the US.

War. We supply goods and services to feed the war machine through contractors that we pay far more than market value. Those contractors pay wages to non-Americans, resulting in the money going to other countries. How much money? Well, "The Nation" reported the following estimated figures, as the government will not release actual numbers:

Estimated number of U.S.-(taxpayer)-paid private contractors in Iraq: More than 180,000, again undoubtedly an all-time high. That figure includes approximately 21,000 Americans, 43,000 non-Iraqi foreign contractors (including Chileans, Nepalese, Colombians, Indians, Fijians, El Salvadorans, and Filipinos among others), and 118,000 Iraqis, but does not include a complete count of "private security contractors who protect government officials and buildings," according to State Department and Pentagon figures obtained by the Los Angeles Times.

The cost in dollars? From the same article:

Typical pay of a former U.S. Special Forces soldier working for a private-security company in Iraq: $650 a day, according to Scahill, "after the company takes its cut." That rate, however, can hit $1,000 a day.

But our toops? (according to http://www.corpwatch.org/article.php?id=11551)

• Salary of U.S. soldier: $1,100 to $2,500 per month
• Salary of British commando: $3,500 per month
• Salary of Iraqi soldier: $70 per month

Aside from the numbers just being obscene, it also should be evident that all of those dollars are coming from the US and being sent permanently to other countries.

And the most frightening exit of cash; to China. See, we are borrowing MILLIONS of dollars every week from China. Which we pay interest on. And will need to pay back some day. So they take the money we're paying them to loan us money, and buy raw goods to make shoddy items at slave wages, only to sell it back to us at HUGE markups. What do we sell them to even things up? Nothing. Nor do we tax properly their imports, which leads to people buying things made in China because Wal-Mart can sell it cheap, which leads to less domestic jobs, which results in the need to buy cheap goods at Wal-Mart....

You see the difficulty.

Somehow, we got the notion during the Reagan Administration that if the Stock Market was doing well, we all were doing well. I suppose that at some point in history, that might have been true. That was before CEO's got greedy, and Reagan deregulated EVERY FUCKING THING so that CEO salaries could grow to mind numblingly high numbers that can't even be comprehended by mortal beings, while middle class salaries actually dropped. The problem is that the Stock Market is only a part of the economy. The part that makes its income through dividends and interest and mergers. The part that doesn't create jobs, or goods.

I know it's all a lot more complicated; economics is way over my head. But it seems fairly "DUH" to see that our economy is tanking because of the insane economic policies once called "Voodoo" by Daddy Bush.

So what can we do about it? And how can the next President get us out of this mess without being "Jimmy Cartered?"

Don't look at me! I am SO not that smart. I'll just get ulcers worrying about it.

Obscenity

Our AWOL-coward in chief addressed the men and women giving their lives in service to the United States of America today, and told them that war is romantic.

Oh. My. God.

In an attempt to give him the benefit of the doubt, I'm assuming he simply doesn't know what war is. So Mr. President, let me enlighten you.

U.S. Deaths Confirmed By The DoD: 3978
Reported U.S. Deaths Pending DoD Confirmation: 9
Total 3987

That's pretty bad. Almost four thousand dead. But wait... there's MORE!

Non Mortal Casualties
Wounded - No Medical Air Transport Required 20,416
Wounded - Medical Air Transport Required 8,904
NON-HOSTILE-RELATED MEDICAL AIR TRANSPORTS 31,325
Non-Hostile Injuries - Medical Air Transport Required 8,273
Diseases/Other Medical - Medical Air Transport Required 23,052
MEDICAL AIR TRANSPORTS (HOSTILE AND NON-HOSTILE) 40,229

Barely comprehensible. And we're still not done.

Self Inflicted	Army	Navy	Marines	Air Force	Total
Died of Self-Inflicted wounds	118	4	23	0	145

Self inflicted wounds. Hello? One Hundred, Forty Five soldiers, trained to live in hellish conditions, who volunteered to serve their country, who have guns and know how to use them, know how to kill... One Hundred Forty Five of these men and women found the conditions they were forced to live in so intolerable that they took their own lives.

Not counting Iraqis, whom I still consider human, despite all efforts to dehumanize them, and not even counting the "coalition" casualties, because after all, Americans count more than anyone else, right? Not counting the impact of the deaths and injuries on the families of these soldiers, who now have to struggle financially because of the programs that our generous Republican administration have cut. Not counting the cost to the productivity of our nation because of the loss of these motivated, well trained people. Not counting the debt we've amassed, or the cost of the degradation of our reputation among the countries of the world. There's such cost involved in this mess called Iraq that isn't counted; but even without all that... the casualties alone are enough to illustrate the cost of war.

Sir, only in your warped perception of reality can war be called romantic. Most of us in the reality based community think war is obscene.

The statistics cited above can be found at Iraq Coalition Casualties and should be on everyone's daily read.

This is a long one, People.

I was recently sent this essay in an email, and reading it got my blood up so much that I needed to post a point by point response. So the essay follows, with my comments highlighted in yellow.

Historical Significance

Sixty-three years ago, Nazi Germany had overrun almost all of Europe and hammered England to the verge of bankruptcy and defeat. The Nazis had sunk more than 400 British ships in their convoys between England and America taking food and war materials.

At that time the US was in an isolationist, pacifist mood, and most Americans wanted nothing to do with the European or the Asian war.

Then along came Pearl Harbor on December 7, 1941, and in outrage Congress unanimously declared war on Japan, and the following day on Germany, who had not yet attacked us. It was a dicey thing. We had few allies.

France was not an ally, as the Vichy government of France quickly aligned itself with its German occupiers. Germany was certainly not an ally, as Hitler was intent on setting up a Thousand Year Reich in Europe. Japan was not an ally, as it was well on its way to owning and controlling all of Asia. It had occupied Korea and China since 1910. From Wikipedia:

Original Allies

The original Allies were those states that declared war on Nazi Germany following the German invasion of Poland in September 1939.

• Second Polish Republic
• United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland
• French Republic

These countries were allied to each other by a net of common defence pacts and military alliance pacts signed before the war. The Franco-British Alliance dated back to the Entente Cordiale of 1904 and the Triple Entente of 1907, active during the World War I. The Franco-Polish Alliance was signed in 1921 and then amended in 1927 and 1939. The Polish-British Common Defence Pact, signed on 25 August 1939, contained promises of mutual military assistance between the nations in the event either was attacked by Nazi Germany.

Mostly, I haven’t touched this part of his essay, as I will confess that my knowledge of WW2 history is pathetic, at best. But this one statement stuck out as just wrong. For one thing, WW2 was not America’s war. We were the allies, remember? We joined the people who were already fighting.

Together, Japan and Germany with Italy had long-range plans of invading Canada and Mexico, as launching pads to get into the United States over our northern and southern borders, after they finished gaining control of Asia and Europe.

America's only allies then were England, Ireland, Scotland, Canada, Australia, and Russia. That was about it. All of Europe from Norway to Italy (except Russia in the East) was already under the Nazi heel . North Africa was theirs, too. (Under the Nazi heel because we delayed too long getting into the war. See? Even I agree that there are times when war is necessary.)

The US was certainly not prepared for war. The US had drastically downgraded most of its military forces after WW I because of the depression, so that at the outbreak of WW II, Army units were training with broomsticks, because they didn't have guns, and cars with "tank" painted on the doors, because they didn't have real tanks . A huge chunk of our Navy had just been sunk or damaged at Pearl Harbor.

Britain had already gone bankrupt, saved only by the donation of $600 million in gold bullion in the Bank of England (that was actually the property of Belgium ) given by Belgium to England to carry on the war, when Belgium was overrun by Hitler (a little known fact).

Actually, Belgium surrendered after one day, because it was unable to oppose the German invasion, and the Germans bombed Brussels into rubble the next day just to prove they could.

Britain had already been holding out for two years in the face of staggering losses and the near decimation of its Royal Air Force in the Battle of Britain, and was saved from being overrun by Germany, only because Hitler made the mistake of thinking the Brits were a relatively minor threat that could be dealt with later. Hitler, first turned his attention to Russia, in the late summer of 1940, at a time when England was on the verge of collapse.

Ironically, Russia saved America's butt by putting up a desperate fight for two years, until the US got geared up to begin hammering away at Germany .

Russia lost something like 24,000,000 people in the sieges of Stalingrad and Moscow alone . . . 90% of them from cold and starvation, mostly civilians, but also more than a 1,000,000 soldiers.

Had Russia surrendered, Hitler would have been able to focus his entire war effort against the Brits, then America. If that had happened, the Nazis could possibly have won the war .

All of this has been brought out to illustrate that turning points in history are often dicey things. Now, we find ourselves at another one of those key moments in history.

There is a very dangerous minority in Islam that either has, or wants, and may soon have, the ability to deliver small nuclear, biological, or chemical weapons, almost anywhere in the world. How? Where? What facts to you have to assert this? Even the official US reports say no.

The Jihadis, the militant Muslims, are basically Nazis in Kaffiyahs -- they believe that Islam, a radically conservative form of Wahhabi Islam, should own and control the Middle East first, then Europe, then the world. To them, all who do not bow to their will of thinking should be killed, enslaved, or subjugated. They want to finish the Holocaust, destroy Israel, and purge the world of Jews. This is their mantra. (goal) Stipulated. (But then, my goal is to engineer world peace by planting flowers and easing hunger, and I think that has as likely a chance of happening)

There is also a civil war raging in the Middle East -- for the most part not a hot war, but a war of ideas. Islam is having its Inquisition and its Reformation, but it is not yet known which side will win -- the Inquisitors, or the Reformationists. This civil war has been raging since the time of Abraham. We come along, this little infant country, and think we can fix it? What arrogance.

If the Inquisition wins, then the Wahhabis, the Jihadis, will control the Middle East, the OPEC oil, and the US , European, and Asian economies. Uh… that oil thing strikes a cord….

The techno-industrial economies will be at the mercy of OPEC -- not an OPEC dominated by the educated, rational Saudis of today, (HUH? You do remember that the terrorists that blew up the WTC were Saudis, right? That they live under Sharia law? A theocracy?) but an OPEC dominated by the Jihadis. Do you want gas in your car? Do you want heating oil next winter? Do you want the dollar to be worth anything? You had better hope the Jihad, the Muslim Inquisition, loses, and the Islamic Reformation wins. Right. This is why Exxon Mobile has record profits quarter after quarter. This is why we’re trying to steal the oil right out from under the Iraqi people. Look into profit sharing agreements in Iraq. When the big Oil Conglomerates own the oil, you think it’s going to be better? And no, I don’t want gas in my car. I want the big Oil companies to stop blocking development of power sources that won’t choke my children and destroy the planet. Oh, and cause wars in foreign companies where we have no right to interfere.

If the Reformation movement wins, that is, the moderate Muslims, who believe that Islam can respect and tolerate other religions, live in peace with the rest of the world, and move out of the 10th century into the 21st, then the troubles in the Middle East will eventually fade away. A moderate and prosperous Middle East will emerge. Wow. Just that easy, huh?

We have to help the Reformation win, and to do that we have to fight the Inquisition, i.e., the Wahhabi movement, the Jihad, Al Qaeda and the Islamic terrorist movements. We have to do it somewhere. We can't do it everywhere at once. We have created a focal point for the battle at a time and place of our choosing . . . in Iraq. Not in New York, not in London, or Paris or Berlin, but in Iraq, where we are doing two important things.

(1) We deposed Saddam Hussein. Whether Saddam Hussein was directly involved in the 9/11 terrorist attack or not, it is undisputed that Saddam has been actively supporting the terrorist movement for decades Saddam was a terrorist! Saddam was a weapon of mass destruction, responsible for the deaths of probably more than a 1,000,000 Iraqis and 2,000,000 Iranians . We also installed Sadam Hussein, and gave him the weapons with which he killed all those people. He therefore had the ability to kill his own people but could not reach outside his local area. There were no weapons of mass destruction as the UN investigators clearly showed.

(2) We created a battle, a confrontation, a flash point, with Islamic terrorism in Iraq. We have focused the battle. We are killing bad people, and the ones we get there, we won't have to get here. We also have a good shot at creating a democratic, peaceful Iraq, which will be a catalyst for democratic change in the rest of the Middle East, and an outpost for a stabilizing American military presence in the Middle East for as long as it is needed. We’re also killing the good people. Third party independent sources estimate that we have killed a million Iraquis, and driven millions more from their homes and into poverty. We also do not have the compassion as a country to allow these refugees we created into America. We cannot create a peaceful democratic Iraq while being an occupying presence. We cannot create stability in the Middle East by creating more militants. When your way of life and belief system is under attack, it makes more martyrs, more fanatics.

WW II, the war with the Japanese and German Nazis, really began with a "whimper" in 1928. It did not begin with Pearl Harbor. It began with the Japanese invasion of China. It was a war for fourteen years before the US joined it. It officially ended in 1945 -- a 17-year war -- and was followed by another decade of US occupation in Germany and Japan to get those countries reconstructed and running on their own a gain . . a 27-year war. Our occupation in Germany and Japan was mostly peaceful. We did not steal their resources or their jobs by placing armed contractors with no accountability in positions that should be filled by locals. We did not place puppet politicians in place, pretending they were elected democratically.

WW II cost the United States an amount equal to approximately a full year's GDP -- adjusted for inflation, equal to about $12 trillion dollars. WW II cost America more than 400,000 soldiers killed in action, and nearly 100,000 still missing in action.

The Iraq war has, so far, cost the United States about $160,000,000,000, which is roughly what the 9/11 terrorist attack cost New York. It has also cost about 3,000 American lives, which is roughly equivalent to lives that the Jihad killed (within the United States) in the 9/11 terrorist attack. According to the New York City Budget office, the cost of 9/11 and the aftermath is 95 billion. And that number includes the loss of tax revenue, jobs lost and multiple other factors. The 2 TRILLION estimate of the cost of the war to America does not take into account any cost to Iraqis, or those other associated costs. And lives? Lives are simply not comparable. Lives are not statistics. If we get more of them then they get of us do we win? Are 3000 acceptable losses because that’s how many were killed in the World Trade Center? Which once again, had NOTHING TO DO WITH IRAQ.

The cost of not fighting and winning WW II would have been unimaginably greater -- a world dominated by Japanese Imperialism and German Nazism .

This is not a 60-Minutes TV show, or a 2-hour movie in which everything comes out okay. The real world is not like that. It is messy, uncertain, and sometimes bloody and ugly. It always has been, and probably always will be. Because us rich white guys know that’s the best way to make money and keep the masses down. Might is right, isn’t it?

The bottom line is that we will have to deal with Islamic terrorism until we defeat it, whenever that is. It will not go away if we ignore it . You can’t defeat terrorism with more terrorism. You can’t defeat terrorism by breaking our own laws. You can’t defeat an ideology with guns. Think of the history of race relations in the US. Blacks were segregated, terrorized, lynched, tortured. Did guns solve that problem? No. Education, exposure, laws, and progressive thinking over time changed the ideology that Blacks were dirty, inferior, stupid. We’re still learning.

If the US can create a reasonably democratic and stable Iraq, then we have an ally, like England, in the Middle East, a platform, from which we can work to help modernize and moderate the Middle East. The history of the world is the clash between the forces of relative civility and civilization, and the barbarians clamoring at the gates to conquer the world. What gives us the right to decide what is barbaric? Native Americans were thought to be barbarians. To me, bombing civilians and raping women and children and stealing resources we have no claim on; that’s barbaric. What gives us the right to decide for other countries how they should live? Just because we think democracy is the best form does not mean all do. Are we so paternalistic? Do we know what is best for the world, and therefore must force it down their throats at the point of a gun?

The Iraq War is merely another battle in this ancient and never ending war. Now, for the first time ever, the barbarians are about to get nuclear weapons. Unless somebody prevents them from getting them. Never ending war. That’s the key. The barbarians are about to get nuclear weapons? Says who? Not the NIE, who was right about Iraq.

We have four options:

1 . We can defeat the Jihad now, before it gets nuclear weapons.

2 . We can fight the Jihad later, after it gets nuclear weapons which may be as early as next year, if Iran's progress on nuclear weapons is what Iran claims it is).

3 . We can surrender to the Jihad and accept its dominance in the Middle East now; in Europe in the next few years or decades, and ultimately in America.

OR

4 . We can stand down now, and pick up the fight later, when the Jihad is more widespread and better armed, perhaps after the Jihad has dominated France and Germany and possibly most of the rest of Europe. It will, of course, be more dangerous, more expensive, and much bloodier.

OR-

5. Or we can negotiate. Catch flies with honey. Use financial and other worldwide pressures to help them see things the way we do. There are so many other ways to achieve peace. But then, that’s not the goal, is it?

If you oppose this war, I hope you like the idea that your children, or grandchildren, may live in an Islamic America under the Mullahs and the Sharia, an America that resembles Iran today. Oh come on, really? You think these small groups of “barbarians” are going to take over America? Are we so weak? What is a far greater likelihood is that my children will grow up in an America like Orwell’s, where doublespeak prevails. It’s already started. “No child left behind” an education program that doesn’t teach anything of value; a “Patriot Act” that breaks fundamental rights of our Constitution.

The history of the world is the history of civilization clashes, cultural clashes. All wars are about ideas, ideas about what society and civilization should be like, and the most determined always win. Again, really? Wars are usually about money. Sometimes coupled with ideas, to make the financial element more palatable. And the most determined aren’t always “right” and even when they are, they don’t always win.

Those who are willing to be the most ruthless always win. The pacifists always lose, because the anti-pacifists kill them . So lets undo all those touchy feely liberal laws and become a militaristic society! That’ll be good! We need to be the most ruthless! YAY! Oh, and Jesus and Gandhi and MLK might just disagree with you that the pacifists always lose.

Remember, perspective is everything, and America's schools teach too little history for perspective to be clear, especially in the young American mind. Thus illustrating my point about No Child Left Behind. And remembering that perspective is not a one way operation. Other countries have the right to see our country and our actions from a different perspective.

The Cold War lasted from about 1947, at least until the Berlin Wall came down in 1989; forty-two years! And it came down why? Financial pressures from other societies, treaties, education, exposure to other cultures. Not at the point of a gun.

Europe spent the first half of the 19th century fighting Napoleon, and from 1870 to 1945 fighting Germany! Thus proving what? It’s okay to have a war last hundreds of years? As long as your ass isn’t in the country that’s actually getting the bombs.

World War II began in 1928, lasted 17 years, plus a ten year occupation, and the US still has troops in Germany and Japan . World War II resulted in the death of more than 50,000,000 people, maybe more than 100,000,000 people, depending on which estimates you accept.

The US has taken more than 3,000 killed in action in Iraq.. The US took more than 4,000 killed in action on the morning of June 6, 1944, the first day of the Normandy Invasion to rid Europe of Nazi Imperialism.

In WW II, the US averaged 2,000 KIA a week -- for four years. Most of the individual battles of WW II lost more Americans than the entire Iraq war has done so far.

The stakes are at least as high. A world dominated by representative governments with civil rights, human rights, and personal freedoms . . or a world dominated by a radical Islamic Wahhabi movement, by the Jihad, under the Mullahs and the Sharia (Islamic law). And there it is. World Domination. That’s what these people really want. World Domination with the rich white guys even richer and definitely untouchable at the top. This is the real motive, do NOT be mistaken.

It's difficult to understand why the average American does not grasp this. They favor human rights, civil rights, liberty and freedom, but evidently not for Iraqis. Uh, civil rights means being bombed into the dark ages, with no electricity, no safety. Forced to elect people your occupiers won’t let lead? Democracy whether you want it or not? This is freedom? And for the women, being forced into burkas and having no say whatsoever in your government? This is your idea of civil rights? Now that I think of it, that is what you’re trying to do in this country too. At least you’re consistent.

"Peace Activists" always seem to demonstrate here in America, where it's safe. Really? Is that so? It’s safe in America? A quick google search shows not so much; Results 1 - 10 of about 261,000 for protesters arrested. If you add “peaceful” you still get 90,000. People die from taserings that result from nothing more than peaceful protest.

Why don't we see Peace Activist demonstrating in Iran, Syria, Iraq, Sudan, North Korea, in the places that really need peace activism the most? I'll tell you why! They would be killed!

The liberal mentality is supposed to favor human rights, civil rights, democracy, multiculturalism, diversity, etc., but if the Jihad wins, wherever the Jihad wins, it is the end of civil rights, human rights, democracy, multiculturalism, diversity, etc. And the Jihad is winning where? Only where we’re fighting them.

Americans who oppose the liberation of Iraq are coming down on the side of their own worst enemy! Liberation of Iraq from whom? And why is war the only option for liberating it? There are other methods. Jesus knew that fighting doesn’t win hearts and minds. Jesus fed the people when they were hungry. He healed them when they were sick. He showed them kindness and love and changed the way people think; changed the world forever. Was Jesus weak? Was Jesus in collusion with the enemy? I don’t think so. How about Gandhi? Weak? Because he wanted peace? I don’t think so. Guns may win the battle, but the war is won by changing “hearts and minds”, as our illegally appointed President says. Lets try that for a while, shall we?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Raymond S . Kraft is a writer and an attorney living in Northern California that has studied the Middle Eastern culture and

(the rest was truncated in the email I received. I'm sure that if you want to hear more of his spew, you can google him. I'm not inclined to bother.)

I've been away

a very very long time. I've mostly been posting to my other blog and not posting about politics much at all. Frankly, it's too damn depressing.

This election cycle has lasted a decade, hasn't it? It's interminable. And it's hard to have any hope, even with the big hope candidate, Barak Obama. Is anything really going to change? We had such high hopes when we elected a Democratic congress. After almost two years, there's not really much to show for it. They've had a few minor victories, but the most depressing, demoralizing, heartbreaking thing is that on the really serious issues, the ones that stem from violation of the Constitution; on those we've had nothing. I mean, nothing. I could still have hope if the Dems had fought tooth and nail and lost... then there's hope for the future, if we can get enough Dems in power. But they've bent over and puckered up for every important vote, and given Bush just what he wants. There's been no accountability, no change in policy, no transparency. No oversight. And that is horrific. If the Dems can't stand up and do what is right now, how can we believe things will be any different if they're elected?

And now we've allowed the media to select our nominees. Anyone with a backbone or a voice has been ignored, marginalized, and forced out of the race. Goodbye, Dennis. Goodbye, John. We're left with Republican light. The media focuses on Hillary's tears and Obama's charisma and John McCain's age, and Ron Paul's groupies. Bill Clinton's antics. Talk on the issues, when it does occur, is mostly limited to what the opposing candidate said inaccurately about the policy.

Despite multiple studies from independent groups illustrating the extent to which we have been lied to, manipulated, used, abused, and violated, that barely makes a dent in the wall to wall 24 hour news coverage. Sure, it gets reported, for a day or two, then forgotten. Forgotten partly because anyone in a position to do anything about it refuses to. What's the point in reporting it if there aren't any consequences? Especially when there's Brittany Spears lurking in the background to grab headlines, or another pregnant white woman missing.

It's a closed cycle. The Dems don't fear being voted out of office because the Reps have screwed up so insurmountably badly that they figure they're a shoo-in. We have no choice other than Dem or Rep because third party candidates are marginalized and portrayed as crackpots. We are told over and over they have no chance of winning and so are defeated before they start. They get no funding; who wants to back a losing candidate? So we're left with uber rich politicos who can raise funding near the national debt.

Does anyone besides me find that obscene? I mean, people kvetch about the cost of the war (in dollars of course, not lives; lives are expendable). A trillion dollars that could have been spent on schools and infrastructure and poverty! The problem is, that trillion dollars isn't real. Its imaginary. It's debt in loans to China and who else knows where that we someday will have to pay back. So it's not like well, we have this money, we can spend it on war, or on education. It's fictitious. But the money given to political candidates? That's real money. Cold hard cash. Millions and millions a month. A MONTH. Given to pay for print ads, and TV ads and robocalling and push polling. Can you imagine what could be done with all that money? What really pisses me off about it is that these same people who give huge donations to political parties and candidates will recoil in horror at paying a fraction of that amount in more taxes to give health care to children.

The founding fathers were amazingly foresighted, and built some wonderful checks and balances into our government. The only things they couldn't protect us against were systemic corruption of our public servants and apathy of the people. They've become a deadly combination, and I fear for the survival of our Republic if something doesn't change soon.

Just when you think it can't get any worse...

As depressing as it is, I suppose that I should be glad that these issues are getting more attention. There is no joy in any of this though, despite the high pitched wailings of many on the right, ie, Bill O'Reilly and Ann Coulter. None of this, not one second of any of it, could possibly make any caring, thinking person "gleeful."

First up - The article written by RFK for Rolling Stone Magazine, illustrating the many ways that Republicans stole the elections in 2004. With detailed footnotes of the many incidents of election fraud, where people have been actually tried and convicted in several cases, perhaps people will listen now. I doubt it, of course.

I'm entirely discouraged. RFK Jr. will be written off as just another bitter liberal whiner, and hey, after all, it's in "Rolling Stone," not a REAL paper.

Second issue of the day - This report from the Cato Institute, a conservative think tank which prefers the label "libertarian." This 31 page report recounts the ways in which the Bush Administration has violated the Constitution. It's long but written in everyday language and is worth a read.

Third up - Iran. No news to most of us, but Mr. Bush really has no desire to talk to Iran. They're all liars anyway and it's far more rewarding to the masculinity to just bomb the hell out of em. So we'll offer to talk on conditions they'll never meet, and that way it can be all their fault when the bombs drop. Axis of evil, dontcha know? Weapons of mass destruction. Over there so not over here. Terraists! BOO!

Fourth - Haditha. It's too painful to even go there. We know this script already, don't we? An unethical incident. Massive coverup. Long investigation. White House had NO idea, imagine! Some poor soldier goes to jail as scapegoat to soothe everyone's troubled mind, end of story. Just like Abu Ghraib, and all I can think is where did these grunts get dog collars? Not something a soldier is likely to pack from home, is it? Are dog collars a big thing in Iraq? Just wondering.

I could go on and on. Unitary executive. Nepotism. Insider trading. Tax cuts and record deficits. Apathy. Greed. Misdirection. Racism. Misogyny. There's so much material it defies comprehension.

None of this is news. It's all been around for anyone to see since the first election was stolen. There will be no outcry, little coverage, and what coverage there is will be spun to make the story and the storyteller ridiculous.

And it will happen again, in small towns in Iraq, in Iran, in Afghanistan. More incompetent cronies will be appointed to positions of importance, and perhaps, people will die. Americans will die. The middle class will fade away, and America will be left with a ruling class and a slave class. In November the elections will be rigged, and again in 2008 because these people are evil and relentless and powerful and monied.

It makes me sick. The machinery of fascism will roll over the country and the good ole American people won't even realize it til they wake up one day and it's the Fourth Reich.

I'm literally sick to my stomach. God, I hope I"m wrong, please, God?

Federal Marriage Amendment

Once again, Harry Reid is sponsoring a toothless petition. He wants to stop Bill Frist from bringing the Federal Marriage Amendment to a vote. Again, despite knowing it's futile, I added my voice, just in case someone somewhere is paying attention. I also added these comments:

Please stop using so called "moral" issues to redirect attention from the mess this administration has caused in this country, and indeed, the world. The Federal Marriage Amendment is a red herring and an unconstitutional invasion into the privacy of American Citizens. Stop trying to legislate morality.

Your duty is to provide checks and balances with our government, so that no branch of government can wrest control from the others. Mr Frist, have you not noticed that President Bush has signed into law 750 bills with "signing statements" attached, stating that this law doesn't apply to him? And have you noticed further that many of these laws have to do with the President being required to furnish information to Congress, completely undercutting your ability to do your duty? Mr. Frist, you have made Congress impotent, and in doing so, have sent our country down the road of fascism.

Do your job, Mr. Frist, and the rest of you in Congress. Question Authority. Leave morals and interpersonal relationships to individuals, and take back our country from the Corporatists. I firmly believe that America will never be taken by terrorists; it can only be taken from within, by those elected to represent us but who in fact only represent their wallets.

I wonder about men who get together to make rules about other people's behavior. I've always found that people most dislike in others the things they hate about themselves. No one ever says "Please, pass a law to keep me from doing this thing that I'm tempted to do," they say "I'm going to pass this law because I don't like what you're doing and I think it's a sin." These men think in black and white. There is no room for compromise. They don't see their own circular logic. They want abortion illegal, yet want to ban contraception. They talk about the sacredness of life, and yet are for the death penalty and going to war with brown people. They say they're Christians yet oppose every basic principle Christ espoused.

I think about the children forgotten inside the foster care system who could be receiving love and care from an alternative style family. I think about the girls who could be given the HPV vaccine but might not, because these dipsticks think it will give them permission to have sex, and how often it is that these VERY young girls are initiated into sex by their uptight repressed male family members. Mostly I think about love, and how the more you give it away, the more you receive, and how none of us can ever have too much. And I'm so angry. I'm so furious at what these tight assed narrow minded priggish selfish greedy and judgemental people have done to this country. And I'm horrified that we've let it happen, and continue to let it happen, day after day.

Thoughts on Immigration

Cerca de quince pies, escala de dieciocho pies.

That's "fifteen foot fence, eighteen foot ladder"

And that is why building a damn wall won't work. But that's only the tip of why we in this country will NEVER solve our immigration problem.

The problem is, Mexicans (and other immigrants) want to be able to feed their children. Send them to school. Give them a better life than they had. See, despite the brown skin and that scary language, Mexicans pretty much want what we want.

Our President wants to implement a Foreign Worker plan. Since after all that worked so well in France, and other European countries. Sure, come here, do our menial labor for a pitance, then, see ya! Have a nice life in your poor and oppressed country of origin. That works out so well for his pals at Haliburton. They get cheap labor and tax breaks for hiring minorities, they get the cushy no bid contracts to build a useless fence. Funny thing is though, the President forgot there are two ocean borders to guard, and that pesky northern border, where the only person who was caught crossing illegally for terrorist purposes entered. In his need to scare the hell out of us, he conveniently skips over the fact that those terrorists involved in 9-11 were here legally.

No one discussing this has ever taken more than a single minded approach, not that I've heard. They say ship em all home. How many do we ship home, again and again, because they just come back? They think that we can nudge them over the border and they'll just stay? They say give amnesty to those that are here, and that'll be it. Like no more will come?

Aside from the fact that this is only an issue right now because the Republicans want to scare middle America before the 2006 elections, the main problem with immigration is that it's complicated. No one wants to address why it is that people come here. Why Americans don't take those jobs that immigrants take. Why the corporations and the government itself don't really want immigration addressed. Why Vincente Fox encourages his people to emigrate to the US. Why Guatemalans and Colombians and other Central American countries emigrate to MEXICO, and then in turn to the US.

Any policy that truly addresses immigration must start in Mexico. The US must put pressure on Mexico to change things there, so that the proud people who love their country can stay there. Fox with the help of NAFTA has virtually eliminated the middle class in Mexico, leaving only a very rich class and a very poor nearly slave class. Sound familiar? That's what BushCo is aiming for here.

How about penalizing employers that hire illegals? Not nominal, snicker behind the back fines, but serious, heavy levies for employers? If there are no jobs to be had, they'd stop coming, no? But that would hurt Bush's dear corporate America, and that would be baaaaad for the country, wouldn't it?

If National security was really a concern, the other three borders would be considered. For all the complaining about the coyotes bringing people through the desert, far more people are here illegally through overstaying a visa. Port security is a joke. And really, if you were a terrorist who wanted to blow up the US, would YOU come in illegally? Or would you quietly train one of those eager young martyr wannabes and get them into the US legally, under the radar? Labelling this problem as "National Security" is yet another lie given to cover up racism and classism.

Illegal immigration is a problem; it stresses our health and human services programs and our schools, affects wages and housing issues. But honestly, there are so many far more critical issues facing our country right now; how can this be seen as anything more than a red herring? If it truly needs to be fixed NOW, this INSTANT, fine. Fix it. Make a truly comprehensive plan that takes into account the global economy and sociopolitical issues, and Fix It. Other than that, stop pulling our chain.

Happy Mother's Day!

Well, we had an interesting day yesterday. Murphy decided to climb the grecian fountain in our front yard and took a dive off of it. "I'll never do that again, EVER EVER!!!!!!!!" My poor baby has a scraped knee and a very deep gash under his chin. So off we went to the local ER, which boasts a staff of one doctor, two nurses, a receptionist and an EMT. A total of 5 chairs in the waiting room, all of which were full and then some. Three ambulances arrived during our wait, resulting in us waiting three and one half hours before seeing a doctor. Luckily, the bleeding was minimal after the first 10 minutes or so, and the pain wasn't bad. We explained as best we could what was going to happen and got him focused on the game boy, so the wait wasn't too bad. Except for Daddy, who has this problem watching people he loves have to wait for treatment, so we sent him home after a bit. He came back just in time for the actual treatment and was able to be the Rock we all depend on. Here's the before pic:

We lucked out, in a way. The covering ER attending was Dr. Gross, Peru and Eric's regular doctor, so we knew him and he knew us a bit. Poor Murph was confused with people in various uniforms running around, doing various things, and he couldn't figure out who the "real" doctor was. So we told him Dr. Gross was the "real" doctor, to which he promptly asked "Why are you so OLD?" As usual with my children, he had the entire place cracking up with the things he was saying.

Dr. Gross was very patient and explained every step carefully, which both Mom and Murph appreciated. Murphy still didn't get it, really. After all was done and we came back home and fed the poor child his Bunnies (Annie's Mac & Cheese), I showed him with a tissue, thread and needle exactly what was done, and how the stitches would be removed next week. He ended up with five stitches, through which he was very brave. Afterwards, I asked him if it was as bad as he had thought it would be, and he said, "No way, it was much better!"

Here's the sutures:
Today, it's much better, "barely hurts at all!" the swelling is down, and he's excited to have something to share at school on Monday.

Today, I was welcomed with a lovely song "Turn Around" and a beautiful handmade hat and ashtray from my sweet baby. He was so excited to remember the song and so happy to give me the presents. Very touching. I cried buckets, of course. Later, my Beloved will take me out to our favorite restaraunt for an early dinner. A perfect day, with all my boys about me. I am a VERY happy Mommy.

Are We Bad Parents?

The more I look at GWB and his administration, the more I feel we're in need of the Supernanny. The child in this relationship has been taking power away from the parents and is acting out, and it's simply not acceptable.

We in America think of the President as our leader, and yes, he is. We must never forget though, or let HIM forget, that WE elected him. Elected him to SERVE us. To defend and protect the Constitution of the United States of America.

George Bush is the bad babysitter left in power over the children who gets drunk with the power and torments the children, and who turns into Eddie Haskell when the parents get home.

This administration is the most temper tantrum oriented organization I've ever seen. When he's disagreed with, he throws nasty epithets and accusations. When caught in misdeeds, he blames everyone else. He turns on and undercuts anyone in competition with him. He bullies other countries. He struts his nuclear dick all over the world to cover up his abysmal incompetence.

And we, the People. We are bad parents. We fail to discipline this president. We look the other way at his bad behavior because, gosh, he's just so darn chummy and cute. We refuse to correct his thinking and allow him to get away with, well, murder. Allow him to send our best and brightest to fight in an illegal war. Allow him to erode our RIGHTS, our power.

We need to take back control. We need to correct the Orwellian thinking of this oh so Christian and moral administration that everyone was so eager to elect, simply to make sure that no man could marry another, God forbid. We need to expose the hypocrisy of these fine upstanding Christians who are lying and cheating and stealing the food from our children's mouths, not to mention the air from their lungs.

We need to put him on the naughty mat.

Impeachment. Censure. War Crimes Trial. He must be MADE to take responsibility for the first time in his life.

Someone Please Send Bush a copy of "Schoolhouse Rock"

Once again, President Bush has demonstrated that the Constitution he vowed to uphold and protect means less than toilet paper to him, and that he feels no law applies to him. Last month, he signed into law a bill which was never passed by the House. The Senate bill he signed varied by 2 BILLION dollars from the House bill that was passed, partially due to a "clerical error." So our Decider in Chief decided that sending the bill back to the House for approval was too dangerous, as it only passed by one tie breaking vote from the Vice President in the first place, and it might not pass again considering the political climate has worsened since then. So he just signed it. Who cares about the law? Or that "piece of paper" Constitution. After all, that was signed in 1787! This is 2006!

The Journal Gazette article confirms that a public watchdog group called Public Citizen has filed a lawsuit to block the law. It also states that most constitutional scholars seem to think it's an open and shut case; Bush's actions were illegal. It's just one more indication of the contempt Bush has for the American People. And still, the scariest part to me is the lack of outrage. The lack of action. How can the American People continue to allow this adminstration to violate our rights and our laws? What toxic ennui has infected us that we can allow this? Okay, we'll get a little upset when we have to pay more for gas, but where is the outrage over the erosion of the fabric of our country? The death of thousands in an illegal war? The pollution of our air and waters and ecosystems? The debt that he is going to pass on to our children? We have got to stop this. It's too important.

And the Procession into Hell continues...

As usual, when the country has a problem, our fearless leader comes up with the exactly wrong response. To answer the high gas prices, President Bush has come up with a plan! And that plan is.... to reduce tax breaks for the oil industry? No. To institute a cap on prices? No. To encourage conservation and alternative fuel research? HA! No, the answer is He Relaxes Environmental Rules, Suspends Oil Reserve Deposits. Once again, the President trashes the planet to save his oil buddies a few bucks. Ok, a whole big shitload of bucks. Thanks, Mr. Pres.

Harry Reid has a Gas Price Petition which of course, has no bite, in that the Republican congress will never allow it to mean anything. But I signed my name, just to have my opinion voiced. I added the following comment:

"While I am willing to pay a fair price for goods and services I use, I feel that the record profits of the oil companies indicate we are being charged far more than is fair. Tax breaks and giveaways to the oil industry in the face of these profits are simply obscene given the impact to the economy of these prices. It must end. Now."

I think about how a gallon of gas is about the same cost as a gallon of milk. Milk is a renewable resource, gas is not. Gas is valuable, no doubt. I understand that a large portion of the price we pay per gallon (especially in California) consists of taxes levied by the state and federal government. I don't even have a problem with that, though I'd like to keep better tabs on how that tax is used. But when the executives of major oil companies continue quarter after quarter to rake in record profits, something is wrong. The price at the pump is passed on to the poor and middle class over and over again, through wholesale increases in price retailers must pay in freight. Everyone spreads the costs around and the buck stops at the average citizen's wallet. It's not right.

And of course, gas prices are such a trivial issue, really, when taken against the horror of Iraq and God forbid, Iran, and the nightmare lives of Katrina victims who have no comfort nine months after the disaster. Our President's failed policies on every level, on every subject, have devastated this country. It will be years before anyone, Democrat or Republican, will be able to get this country back on it's feet, and regain our place in the world.

The Horror Continues

I haven't posted here in quite some time because the reality of the American situation right now is too overwhelming. Anyone interesting my crafting journal can find it at Homespun Dreamings. I decided to split the contents for the fiber arts people who may not be looking for political rants.

I just can NOT understand why or how Americans have allowed this to happen. It astounds me that the President's approval rating is as high as it is. What this man, this Administration has done is so much worse than anything anyone could ever have dreamed. The pundits keep saying Bush is "approaching Nixon's numbers" - Nixon was a poser! Nixon could not have conceived of the crimes Bush has actually committed. He didn't lie, straight faced, over and over and over again on every issue of import to the American people. He didn't violate the oath of office; "I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States." He didn't destroy the economy, or alienate the entire world against the US, or trash the ecosystem or negate our civil rights. He didn't silence scientific and military experts. He didn't take a record surplus and turn it into a record deficit. Nixon might have manipulated the Vietnam War for his political benefit, but he sure didn't intentionally send thousands of Americans to their death for no better reason than money and power.

It's hard to know the cause of this debacle. Is it simple incompetence? Is it just lust for money and power? Is it some kind of messianic nightmare, trying to bring on the Second Coming? Is he in competition with his father? Is he really and truly insane, or maybe just drug addled and stupid? I don't have a clue. All I can do is look around me and see the devastation. And speak out, when I can. I know I'm not smart enough to solve all the problems before the American people right now. But I can try to let people know when I think they're making a mistake; and Bush is about to make a big one.

On June 2, the Christ loving military machine that is the Bush Administration will drop a bomb in the Nevada desert. A detonation large enough to generate a mushroom cloud. The Orwellian/messianistic name of this test? Divine Strake. There's a whole list of them; Divine Buffalo, Divine Invader, Divine Helcat, Divine Kingfisher, Divine Umpire, Divine Zorro, Divine Warhawk, Divine Albatross, and my favorite Divine Hates. Divine Strake is a 700 TON (1.4 MILLION pound) bomb. The stated purpose of the test is to see how computer equipment and tunnels would fare in a reinforced bunker deep underground. The problem with this stated purpose is that there is no possible means of conveyance for this payload. No single unit transport that can even come close to delivering this amount of tonnage. There's an excellent article at GlobalSecurity.org that helps clear through the spin and the misdirection and the outright lies in the nearly non existent media coverage of this event.

The rumored real purpose of this detonation is to calculate a nuclear equivalent, ie, how much nuclear payload would be required to bomb the Iranians and their proported centrifuges underground. Here is a letter from thirteen prominent scientists to President Bush, with their views on using nukes.

We cannot allow this President to get us into a third mismanaged war. Please, stop the bleeding. Stop the flow of broken, burned, and murdered bodies of our soldiers. Stop the abuse of power. Stop the madness of King George the Decider.

Dark Days

"The end of freedom is imminent when the fee for a modest handful of rights is our great halo of liberties. " The Dark Wraith

That quote is a response to the attempts of some in the Republican Party to repeal the 22nd Amendment to the Constitution. This is the amendment which imposes a two term limit on the Presidency. This was proposed in the House on 02/17/05 and is, I believe, still alive in committee.

I think we should be able to vote for whoever we want to, regardless of how long they've been in. If they're doing a good job, they should be allowed to continue their service. It takes away lame duck years and should inspire optimal work from the person seeking office.

The problem with repealing this amendment now is the fundamental lack of faith in the current electoral process. We cannot allow the lying, manipulative and evil people currently in power to even have the chance of electing themselves to a dynasty by stealing the election.

I've always had a healthy skepticsm of my government, republican or democrat. The founding fathers seemed to think it was important to challenge our leadership. While being the best devised system in this world, it's still has one major flaw; it is run by people. The best government is no better than the corruption level of the people running it. That level appears to be downright toxic at the moment. Is there one thing this administration has said or done that is the truth? I'm hard pressed to think of a thing. Every thing they've done, every thing they've said, has been lies and manipulations. We're losing, and rapidly, the mechanisms by which the people's voice is heard. We're losing our civil rights and liberties. We're leaving behind a large segment of the population, the one most unable to fight for itself.

And now, our fearless (chickenhawk) leader will surrender control of our ports to one of the very countries reputed to have terrorist leanings toward our country. He just announced that he will veto any legislation that attempts to block the control of six Eastern ports, some of the most vulnerable entrances to our country, ports that handle the loading and unloading of our MILITARY equipment, passing to the UAE. How can this make sense to anyone?

I'm literally sick to my stomach thinking about what this administration has done to this country. George wanted a legacy, did he? He's got one. It will take decades for the financial and political harm that he has done to this country to be truly known, and far longer to reverse it. I hope he's proud.

Still more...

This is a prayer shawl I crocheted for my asbestos friend, Barbara, for her birthday. It's a lovely turquoise color which is just so BARBARA, and so soft it's like buttah. Oh... I do wish I took better pictures. Sigh.

Then there's this: Santa brought a deck of cards that were approximately one inch tall. Very cute; but what happens when you take them out of the plastic wrap? So I crocheted a tiny little bag to store them in. Again, the picture only looks like a blob of blue. Sad.

Tomorrow, I hope to get pictures of the hooded sweater I knit for Son #2. Unfortunately, he's rather severely ill at the moment and not up to modeling. Here's hoping he improves over night and avoids the dreaded doctor visit.

A couple more, if Blogger lets me...

This is a capelet I made for a Yahoo Crochet Along group. I love the pattern; it's so pretty and feminine. The model is Paulette, my boss's wife. The color, though it looks blue, is really a seafoam green. I really REALLY need to learn how to take photographs.

This is actually the second one I made, and was commissioned by a friend for a Valentine's Day gift. I like the pattern so much I'm on my third edition. Other WIPs are a summer top in "Sassy" yarn, the World Traveller bag for me which will be felted, a knit Magic Scarf in eyelash yarn, and a couple of secret projects for future gifts. Hardly leaves me any time to learn my drop spindle...

My handmade things

This is what's kept me busy over the last couple of months:
This is a pair of Christmas stockings I made for my wonderful mother in law, Dorothy, and her new husband, Bill. It was rather an achievement for me as I didn't have a pattern and had never made anything like it before. I think they turned out rather elegant.

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Even though we're in Southern California, it does get cold here at night, and my soft hearted husband worries about our two little Yorkies, Sugarplum and Rocky. So I made them some sweaters. Rocky manages to keep his on for a while, but Sugar somehow gets hers of and must bury it in the back yard, cause we can't find them ANYWHERE. I've made her at least four.

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This is a baby blanket I made for my boss's wife's daughter, who was having her fourth boy. It's made from a boucle yarn, which was a revelation to me. I had stopped crocheting and knitting because I was bored with the yarn; it's amazing how much has changed! New colors, and new textures and blends! It made me excited again, and fueled this new obsession with fibercraft.

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I wanted to add more pictures, but blogger isn't cooperating, so I'll try again later. I am having a blast with this fiber stuff!

I'm Back!

Ok, so it's been two months since I've posted. With birthday week, Christmas, New Years and a couple of personal issues, time has flown. Not to mention my obsession with politics just got overloaded. Can you believe how much you've been lied to?

Anyway, I've gotten back into an old obsession; crocheting, and some knitting. I've been a wild woman whipping out sweaters and capelets and wrist warmers and snoods and all kinds of stuff. I'll get pictures up soon. I'd like to turn this into a business at some point. I'm also learning to spin my own yarn, and will try my hand at dyeing too, sometime. So I've been pretty occupied. Luckily, my darling husband is incredibly supportive, even of the amount I've spent one Ebay on new yarns!

I'll try to keep up with the blog now and again; but right now, it's back to crocheting!

Happy Birthday to US!

My family is currently in the middle of what we affectionately call "The Birthday Week from Hell." It just so happens that my eldest son turned eighteen on Sunday, I turned 45 yesterday, and today my Beloved achieves the milestone of sixty. Having three birthdays in one week, and only several weeks from Christmas wreaks havoc with heretofore beloved birthday traditions. It simply isn't practical to go out to dinner at the natal one's choice three times in one week. Or have three different birthday cakes. So, we're slowly evolving new traditions. My ever so patient husband gets the worst of it; by the time his sacred day arrives, we're birthday-ed out, and he barely gets any celebration at all.

I myself had a lovely day. I got emails and phone calls from family and friends back east. My boss sang "Happy Birthday" to me on the phone from his vacation in Vegas. I left work early to do a few errands, then picked up the family and went to our favorite restaurant in Ventura - "The Panda." It's an amazing Chinese buffet with six tables of everything from sushi to pizza to crab. The hostess always remembers #2 son and makes a big deal over him. My family also gave me lovely gifts. One of my favorites is from my husband; a silver necklace with the major symbol from each of the major religions. The woman who designed it was at her booth at "Ojai Day" and I fell in love with it right away. She added another charm with kissing dolphins over the words "ALL ONE." It's very much my philosophy. The names we give God are semantics. If one calls it Nature, or Aum, or Buddah, or God, or Abba or Goddess - does it really matter? We are somehow all created by Something, born with nothing but our hearts and hands and brains. Somehow, the world was created. Does it matter the name we give the Creator? It IS.

Uh oh, my inner existentialist is coming out.

Anyway, back to the festivities - tonight Beloved's present is to not have to cook dinner; so I'm trying to find something appropriate to bring home. He might get one or two other presents as well, if he's lucky.

I sure am.

Justice, Sex, and Weight

Shakespeare's Sister has a post about the 17 year old girl who has been convicted of filing a false report of rape in Oregon.

I'm horrified at the case, and just as horrified, though unfortunately not surprised, by the number of female bloggers that I respect and admire who have shared their stories of sexual assault. Almost every single woman I know has experienced sexual assault in her life. Yes, that includes me, at the tender age of 12, and no, I didn't report it. Who would have listened to me? It was my fault, after all... So I gained a hundred pounds and wore oversized men's flannel shirts and hid behind my hair so that no man would ever want to do that to me again. It worked, for a very long time.

It's interesting that last year, after I had lost 120 pounds and everyone started to tell me how good I looked, I suddenly gained the weight back. Fast. And it wasn't until this summer, actually, that I started to think about why I gained it back that I had a revelation. Even after thirty years, I was afraid. Afraid of myself, and the power sex has over me. I mean, I got over so much; I came to terms with knowing it wasn't really my fault, that sex does not have to be a power struggle, I even learned to trust men again before I was twenty. I thought I was doing well. But since it was my first boyfriend that raped me, a very popular wrestler, two years older than me, for heaven's sake - well, I was thrilled with his attention. He gave me my first kiss, and I was so overcome by fear and joy and wonder and the feelings that flooded me that I literally ran from him, blushing, at the age of eleven. Later, he dated me all of twice, the second resulting in the rape. I enjoyed the attention at first, I wanted him, in that idealistic blind crush that teenage girls have. I loved the feelings inside my own body that he inspired, right up until I wanted him to stop. So now, I discover that losing weight brings back the feeling of headiness, and the fear of my own sexuality and lack of control. It's so complicated. So I went back to hiding mode. Gaining weight to avoid the issue.

Thank God that my husband is understanding, even when he doesn't understand, not really. And that he loves me fat, thin, screwed up or happy.

I'm not even sure, re-reading this post, that it makes sense. It barely makes sense to me. There is so much to consider in any discussion of rape; feminism and power, self-esteem, personal responsibility, differing perceptions of same events. Violence. Inequality and double standards. And that's even before you get to how intensely personal it is to the individual for whatever reason. The one good thing to come out of events such as this is the open public debate. As long as sex is a four letter word and considered as being intrinsically dirty or sinful, these abuses will continue. The more we talk about it the less demonized sex will become, and hopefully those who are abused will be less afraid to seek justice.

I might try to post more on this later, if I can make more sense of the confusion in my head. Feel free to leave your comments.